Pet Loss and Grieving Resources

The sadness felt after the loss of a beloved pet is a normal and expected emotion. Everyone responds to loss in a unique way. Some move through the grieving process more rapidly than others. You may know someone who may benefit from additional help to overcome the expected grief. We hope the information provided below can assist others to cope with the loss of a pet. Please use the resources provided to ease the emotional suffering of friends or family in difficult circumstances:

1. Give yourself permission to grieve because you have experienced a tremendous loss. For many of us, beloved pets are our "children"--companions who give unconditional love.

2. Realize that you are not going crazy when you grieve deeply for a pet. It is normal when you have sustained a great loss to feel debilitated for awhile. So take all the time you need to heal.

3. Know that guilt often accompanies grief, especially over pets. Because your pet couldn’t tell you that she was sick, you may feel guilty about not taking her to the vet sooner. Or you may feel responsible if your pet was killed after escaping from the yard. Guilt--which suggests that you could have done something--can mask the fear of being powerless to keep your pet alive.

4. Find a special way to say good-bye to your pet. Often, pet loss happens so quickly that you don’t have time to say the things you wanted. But you can do so even after a pet has died. Write a letter to your pet. Have a family ritual celebrating her life and acknowledging her death. Or look at a photo of your pet and tell her all you would have said if there had been time.

5. Pick a meaningful way to memorialize your pet. You can do a scrapbook, plant a tree, write a poem, or donate money in your pet’s name to a charity for animals.

6. If you decide to get another pet, do so only when you are ready. You will never be able to replace the pet you have lost; it takes time to invest emotionally in another.

7. Find at least one other person you can openly talk to about your loss. Share your feelings without censorship. Realize that family members or other loved ones grieve differently or may be in too much pain to support you.

8. Be especially good to yourself, because it takes lots of energy to grieve. Get extra rest. Eat a healthful diet. Drink lots of water. Avoid caffeine. Exercise moderately. Deeply relax through massage or meditation. For sleep problems, consider taking non-addictive herbal drops or capsules from a health food store.

9. Find creative expression for your feelings:

• Do journaling. Write down whatever you are feeling without criticism.
• Work out your feelings in clay. Be mindful of what you’ve created because it will have special meaning for you.
• Use pastels, oils, charcoal, crayons, pen, or pencil to draw your feelings.
• Make a collage that captures your feelings in pictures.

10. Try to do at least one thing each day that brings you joy. Fly a kite, take a walk, garden, watch the sunset, listen to music, or see a funny movie. Allow yourself to laugh! Laughter releases the body’s natural opiates and gives you a respite from pain.